Life & Existence

Living is a strange thing if there isn't a point to it. Life is about making choices. Every choice made involves the surrender of the other options. Choose to be kind or honest. Choose to marry or not to marry. Choose to laugh at the world's folly or take pity on it. With choice comes imperfection. The difficulty and anguish of choosing is an essential part of human existence. If my friend is regret for a choice, I can only tell him/ her that every choice has consequence, and often it is not the consequence that make you suffer, but life and existence itself. Life pushes us in a circle; from hospital to kindergarten, school to workplace, wedding ceremony to childbirth and anniversary, and back to hospital eventually. Do we have to go through all these stages before it's too late? I imagine it must be difficult and miserable if we don't, but I'm seeing a familial example of the opposite; even without marriage and child, one can still lead a good life. It always make me wonder the necessity of romantic love, but that's another concern.

Existence is also a strange thing when being critically looked at. We're casted into this world; most are loved, a few are not, even fewer will ask why. Why would parents bring me into existence? Why me? Why is this particular consciousness? 'No one is coming to the world without crying, no one asks when you want to enter the world, no one asks when you want to leave' (Soren Kierkegaard). Everyone is the same on this matter; everyone is just like you and me, casted into the world without consent and left alone in restrained space and time to crawl our way through life. Everyone is given the same universal human condition to survive, but only a few are of God's favor, a few are of God's resentment. Some argue that God love everyone equally. It doesn't make sense to me. I feel sad for those poor and in bad health. I feel sad for those rich and healthy who can't sympathize the unfortunate. I consider myself to be lucky, but my existence is too weird that I often don't believe in my thoughts.

Are all these too negative and pessimistic? Maybe. But humanity has always been in misery and sadness in the earlier centuries, largely due to shortage of food supply and productions. Time's changed. Many of us don't need to worry about food anymore. We are worried about what kind of lifestyle suits us, what gives us the most comfort. But why do we worry? I think it's human nature to seek comfort, and it's also human nature to worry; it's a part of the brain mechanism. If we're conscious enough to realize it, we are able to see how empty is this worry. To anyone in difficult situations including myself, I care about mental health. I hope if not to give solution, at least to provide words of comfort is all my intention.

If it's okay to be happy, it's okay to be sad, 'for happiness and unhappiness are sisters and even twins that either grow up together or…shall remain small together' (Nietzsche). Some situations are more difficult than the other because of their unspeakable nature. Something's better left unsaid, and something can't be said. Sometimes the darkness is too long and too big; it won't allow us to see the brighter side. Some problems can't be solved, but often we don't need a solution. We just need to discuss it with someone. Even if it's in darkness, it won't be so frightening if walking with a friend. But if the problem is too big or too early to be discussed, then I'm sorry, you have to bite your teeth and walk out of it by yourself. It is never a bad thing. Just focus on the present, focus on what you have, never the far future and what you don't possess. Communication is essential for any problems' solution.

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