A New Journey (Career & People)

New journey begins..

This will be a hard journey for me, as I'm terrible at socialising, networking, and studying. It is not a journey of my choice, but rather a journey that readily reveals its path and I must take it.

As in last year, I have built some sort of foundations from philosophy. Although philosophy cannot tell you all the universal truth about human being, it somehow teaches you who you really are, and who you really want to become (they are nothing but the same, because deep down there is nothing inside of us, except what we put in there, we are nothingness, beings-for-itself). This is one of the foundations, which allow me to move on from the metaphysical realm to the physical reality, as I realise life demands nothing from philosophy, and my innate philosophical thinking is released from years of self-training and self-indulgence. Now I see things differently, I see life differently, and I see people differently. What do I see? I've just heard from my environmental management lecturer about a tale called "the sound of one hand". It is a philosophical story of the Japanese Zen tradition. Basically, it conveys the message "see things as themselves, rather than what you think they are". This is how I see things now.

Long story aside. I feel tired. I have met new people. I have been to a workshop for Careers Fair, and the Careers Fair. It is a nightmare for me, even though I didn't do much and nothing bad happened to me. But people drain energy from me. I am an introvert, and I do not enjoy big groups of people. But these are not as important as finding a job, so I have to walk down this path. I have to make more friends. I have to meet someone. And I have to accelerate my study.

Studying, from what I see now, is different too. I used to struggle. I think I still do, but now I understand that it is a training. A training of the intellect, the way of thinking, and skills. Studying is just one of the many repetitions of life. I hated repetitions. Life is full of repetitions. But all skills come from repetitions. We have that saying "practice makes perfect" right? I take a step back and look at what I enjoy and good at doing: philosophizing, I think a lot, like all the time; musical talents, I listen to music, play guitar, and sing all the time; visual artistic sense, I open my awareness and sensitivity and see the world all the time. This makes sense now. I have to repeat. If I am ever good at something, only because I enjoy repeating something. I have to repeat.

I have to repeatedly do research, read papers, make notes, work on assignments, ask tutors and lecturers. I have to repeat. I have to.. I have to..

I have to stop procrastinating, and start my assignments already. Two 3rd year courses. Only when I achieve higher outcome in this semester, can I increase my confidence in talking to employers and finding an internship.

#RealistsJournal