Clouded by Illusion, Man Strives to Create a Stable Presence, Yet Every Step He Takes Is Upon Uncert

What is this sensation? For weeks and weeks, breathing wasn't right, steps not steady, the heart's pumping, the mind's roaming, even food won't go down quietly without protesting at my throat. Yet, none of them were life-threatening, none of them were physically doctors-attention-required kind of serious. And I figured it out: Anxiety.

My world always has more strangers than friends, and threatening wherever I go. I'm vulnerable and insecure. So I stayed home where four walls can provide what I needed. But then it wasn't enough. The outside reached in, overshadowing my weakening soul. My sanctuary, home was where I shut off the world and recharge, but anxiety has turned it into a ruin.

I wasn't aware how much I craved for stability until now. Stability, comfort, and security, none of which I can attain from going out to the world and reality. Anxiously I waited, but the brighter day didn't come and the wounds deepened. But by turning my attention to life itself, I drew healing power from it.

From life, we philosophize life, we learn from life. Life is, by nature, unstable and uncertain. We spend so much time chasing after a stable life. No life is stable - when life becomes stable, it becomes static, uninteresting, dead; it is no longer a life. So what we all do is, guided by illusion, to create a stable presence - what seems to be stable on temporal terms. Yet everyday if we go out there to the world, if we live a life, every step every second is uncertain - in the blink of an eye, we could be placed into precarious situations (e.g. a drunk man throws a bottle at you from 10th floor).

Life is uncertain. We naturally want to have that certainty, as the mind craves. Yet the moment our life becomes a stable presence, our life becomes oblivious. Just like thinking and philosophizing, we shall not be content with certainty both in the human consciousness and in daily life. We should not be training for our whole lives to prepare for something (for work, for relationships, for children). Rather, we should learn and practice the ability to accept the uncertain and the unknown, and deal with them whenever they shall arise.

Hereby, I summarize this article into one phrase:

Clouded by illusion, man strives to create a stable presence, yet every step he takes is upon uncertain situations.

#IdealistsJournal #ExistentialismPragmatism