Nothing Is Meant to Last

Seems nothing is meant to last, not even emotions; especially emotions. However, philosophers as a group of people who desire so badly of a true understanding of the inner human nature in order to gain a certainty of the mind within a ever-changing uncertain world, are the ones who crave for the ever-lasting the most.

Having something challenging done used to be rewarding or even life-changing. Yet today, nothing about the self seems to have been altered, nothing fundamental has changed. Only the fleeting moments of stress and anxiety have faded, but also, of course, the joy and relief that come after.

It really affect my perception of the momentary happiness and unhappiness of life. A day that should be cherished, will become a memory that I may hold onto much longer than the actual event's given length. For the unhappy days, life will show us its magical courtesy - slows time itself, and it may be meaningless sometimes, but eventually it will pass away. Life is so full of these momentary episodes that are compatible with any attitudes. Can't be too happy, because time will be forgotten. Can't be too unhappy, as eventually it will pass and be blurry in memory and marked as unproductive, futile energy spikes. I'm not sure this should be called the modern melancholy or the philosopher's attitude.

Like what I've experienced these few months is so drastically different from the past few years. Wait, every semester is different, precisely. If I enjoyed too much, I'd not want to let go which I will have to - the staring, the conversations we've made can only have such a short life of pure wonder before they turn into something else less, before either one of the person makes a decision, a commitment, and a final devotion.

#IdealistsJournal