Truth - just what the hell is it?

There’s this one quote in the movie V for Vendetta: “vi veri veniversum vivus vici” which translates to English “by the power of truth, I, while living, have conquer the universe”. Never have I realised how powerful this phrase has been influencing me since I come to Australia.

17 was my rebellious period and I was passionate about politics. That's why I was so fascinated by V' that dramatises political revolution and ideas being embodied as bulletproof and immortal. Whether consciously or unconsciously I internalised this notion that the truth about oneself and the world is powerful and is one of the secrets and treasures of life. Gradually, this seeking of truth became a conscious endeavor that lasted from 2013 to 2017.

2013, I suffered from a deviated nasal septum - constant nose blockage and difficulty breathing. No doctor was able to identify this particular disease, and surely medicine could only provide temporary relief. The only things helped, instead, were music and praying to God. I wasn't religious by that time, but it's an instinctive, desperate attempt to turn to someone or something for help when nothing else could. After graduating from high school, I returned home and visited the doctors. Only until the second doctor on her second attempt, was she finally able to identify the cause. I was fixed by her surgery, but the whole process of finding out the disease felt spiritual as if I relied on the strength and wisdom of God. So I thought there may be some truth in religion.

2014, I became a Christian, or was trying to be. At the beginning of my Bachelor degree, I rented a room in a Christian ministry house, and started a religious lifestyle for over 6 months. Nothing could be more unfamiliar and strange than this - living away from family, starting university as the first person in your family, and just turning religious. But somehow, I believed I was following the path to the Truth. I thought the Truth was in religion, until about 8 months later, I realised religion is not for me and soon I moved out.

2015 would always be marked by philosophy, and remembered as my awakening. Soon as I left the ministry house, I found home in philosophy. One thing that philosophy did help but religion couldn't was answering the question of the meaning of life. The answer was, of course, open-ended. But it's not the answer that matters, it's the process of finding problem and formulating answer, in which I realised philosophy fit perfectly with my way of thinking, and I could identify with philosophers among seas of people. Philosophy was the best thing that happened in my Bachelor years.

2017, after a year-long break from philosophy due to the demand of my studies, the profound change brought out by philosophy didn't fade at all. Instead, it carried me to psychology. In December, after 4 years of studying Geographical Sciences, I graduated. I was always fond of nature and animals; watching from a distance with admiration and reverence. But I enjoyed them because I disassociated from them - that means I don't care about the 'truth' about physical nature. Even though I still appreciate nature and even more so now, most of what I did in the past 4 years feels useless. During my undergraduate, I did one philosophy course - loved it, two psychology courses - loved them both. I read books, watched lectures, all of which I genuinely enjoyed, was deeply engaged and truly educated. It's fair to say that I'm passionately interested in how the mind works. Also I dearly appreciate and admire the expressions of the mind - exclusively minds that shows originality, creativity, and even idiosyncrasy - through the forms of music, art, and ideas. All of them are greatly relatable and useful. From philosophy, psychology and arts, I know I've found the Truth.

The Truth - just what the hell is it - is it something universal, accurate, wise, perpetual, ethical, meaningful or enlightening? The Truth, once found, will transform and transcend you. But everyone must find their own truth, because the Truth isn't the same for everyone, because eventually it's up to us to decide what is true. Some say religion is the Truth, while others say the Truth is in the simplest daily things. Unknowingly, my search for the Truth has long dictated my being. The religious exploration, the metaphysical journey, the dive into the human psyche are all parts of this fearless pursue. The seeking of the Truth must now be stopped, because the continue of it is at risk of sacrificing other significant aspects of life.

This time, I'm going for a more worldly pursue.

#IdealistsJournal #Summary